A couple of days ago I was in the car with the 14 year old, having picked her up from cheer practice. Both of the girls are in competitive cheer, the older one in her 4th year and the younger one in her 3rd year. When I pick up the older one, it is just the two of us, and it is nice to have the talking time. She was complaining (again!) about taking care of the bunnies, and her younger sister's part in it. She commented that she wanted the bunnies, but she didn't think they would live very long, kind of like goldfish. The rest of the ride home I just couldn't get over that tidbit. Like goldfish? We've had the bunnies over a year and a half now! So, I told her bunnies live about 5 to 7 years, and she looked horrified. As we talked, she doesn't want the bunnies to die, but she would like to give them away (Who is going to want 2 adult bunnies? Besides, they are our bunnies, and they would be sad to leave their home). They have been here long enough I guess. And Patches, whose picture is to the side, loves the older one. He always runs to her and wants to play. Like goldfish. It still gets to me! She really is a smart kid, but I think something happens to teenagers, and for several years there are holes in the thought processes. Like goldfish...
I have managed to get on the treadmill 3 days straight, and for 2 of the days I made it a mile! Baby steps, and they all count. My goal is to treadmill 5 days a week, and if I can on weekends, all the better. I do think the new arthritis medication is making a difference, but I have only been on it a week, and I'll give it more time before I give a final verdict. I am just amazed I have made it 3 days! And, I joined SparkPeople, which is a free weight loss site with a lot of tools and forums to help lose weight, track goals, and give support. I used it when I lost weight before all the back stuff started, and it was really helpful. And free! Free is especially great since I am not working.
I hope everyone has a great weekend, and as always, I Love My Vanilla Life!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Family
Last week the girls were on fall break, and Mr. Vanilla took a week of vacation. It was wonderful! We didn't go anywhere, but it was just nice to have a whole week that wasn't too scheduled. It is times like that where I can slow down (okay, I am not currently working, so really, I am not going all that fast!) and talk with Mr. Vanilla about how blessed we really are. I mean, financially with my not working and trying to take care of my back issues it is difficult, but that is just money. We will come through this part. We have our family, we have friends, and that is what is important. Money is great, and it sure makes life easier, but it is meaningless when you realize that without family and friends, life is lonely and sad.
I went to my regular pain medication doctor and told him I am ready for him to help me through medication. I fight the medication, because I am ever hopeful there is some procedure that will magically work to fix my back and take away the pain. Since this is a progressive journey with my back slowly (sometimes it feels quickly) degenerating, I need to get realistic. Which is what my doctor said (and he is one of the good ones!); he told me I need to look at this as a chronic condition that is not going away. Mr. Vanilla was with me, and when the doctor told me I need to take my pain medication on a regular schedule, which is what Mr. Vanilla always tells me, well, his look said it all. Apparently waiting to be in pain and then taking the medication is not the best way to go. I just really dislike taking so much medicaiton. So, I am taking my medication every six hours while I am awake, and I have started a new one for arthritis. Not sure if I have arthritis in my hand and back (I have it in my right hip, so chances are good it is starting in other areas) - x-rays didn't show anything major the doctor saw, but he will have a radiologist read, and they are doing blood work, and one thing being looked for is rheumatoid arthritis. The new medication makes me a bit sick and sleepy, but I figure this will pass soon.
I also plan to start the fun weight loss and exercise journey. I need to lose the 50 pounds I lost and then gained back when I started all this back garbage. Not easy for me, because food is comfort, and I like to eat ice cream and chocolate. And, since my back went out when I was thin, I have this thought that losing the weight isn't going to help. Which, realistically, I know is not correct. I know losing the weight will help, because being overweight is unhealthy and slows me down. I am giving myself 2 weeks to get a plan in place, and then no more cookie dough ice cream in the house. Thankfully Skinny Cow makes awesome ice cream cones and cups, which save me. I know I can do this, and everything I do that gets me healthier and out of pain means a better time for me and the rest of the Vanilla's.
Have fun today, and, as always, I Love My Vanilla Life!
I went to my regular pain medication doctor and told him I am ready for him to help me through medication. I fight the medication, because I am ever hopeful there is some procedure that will magically work to fix my back and take away the pain. Since this is a progressive journey with my back slowly (sometimes it feels quickly) degenerating, I need to get realistic. Which is what my doctor said (and he is one of the good ones!); he told me I need to look at this as a chronic condition that is not going away. Mr. Vanilla was with me, and when the doctor told me I need to take my pain medication on a regular schedule, which is what Mr. Vanilla always tells me, well, his look said it all. Apparently waiting to be in pain and then taking the medication is not the best way to go. I just really dislike taking so much medicaiton. So, I am taking my medication every six hours while I am awake, and I have started a new one for arthritis. Not sure if I have arthritis in my hand and back (I have it in my right hip, so chances are good it is starting in other areas) - x-rays didn't show anything major the doctor saw, but he will have a radiologist read, and they are doing blood work, and one thing being looked for is rheumatoid arthritis. The new medication makes me a bit sick and sleepy, but I figure this will pass soon.
I also plan to start the fun weight loss and exercise journey. I need to lose the 50 pounds I lost and then gained back when I started all this back garbage. Not easy for me, because food is comfort, and I like to eat ice cream and chocolate. And, since my back went out when I was thin, I have this thought that losing the weight isn't going to help. Which, realistically, I know is not correct. I know losing the weight will help, because being overweight is unhealthy and slows me down. I am giving myself 2 weeks to get a plan in place, and then no more cookie dough ice cream in the house. Thankfully Skinny Cow makes awesome ice cream cones and cups, which save me. I know I can do this, and everything I do that gets me healthier and out of pain means a better time for me and the rest of the Vanilla's.
Have fun today, and, as always, I Love My Vanilla Life!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Lousy Care
This blog actually came about because I was so upset with what happened Thursday morning. Have you noticed how a lot of health care providers tend to treat us patients as if the only right we have is to listen, nod, and prostrate ourselves on the floor? I know there are a lot of wonderfull providers out there, and I go to some, but this one, well, I think the world would be better served with her not providing health care.
So, my family finally convinced me to go to a new practice for chronic pain (lots of back issues). Front desk staff nice, person who brought me to the room nice, then in walks the Nurse Practitioner. She will talk to me, and then I get to see the doctor. We seem to start out fine, even though when she wants to know where my pain is, and I tell her the diagram is the new patient paperwork, she flips one page and tells me she doesn't have it. What? So I point out my pain areas on a diagram. She'll ask me again in a few minutes. Now, when talking about my pain issues, I do bring up my medication frequently, but it is a big part of what I do to control the pain. We are about 2 or 3 minutes into the discussion, she asks a question, I start off talking about the medication, and she interrupts me and tells me we have talked enough about the medication, and we are continuing on. Not in a nice way either. I just stared at her, and this is where I lost it. I let her know that I felt she was rude, and her attitude was not nice, and she told me I was beligerent, and she can't help me unless my attitude gets better so we can work together. No apology, and no compassion at all. At this point I am crying....good thing I had my own tissue, because she didn't offer any.
She finally left, and the doctor seemed nice, but I was already done with the practice. When I went to check out, I was going to let them schedule the MRIs since I needed them, but when I asked why only neck and thoracic were ordered, and not lumbar, little miss NP told me when I came back we would talk about the lumbar MRI. Hmmm, if I come back, and they send me out for another MRI, and then I have to come back again, they get 2 more office visits to charge for! This one visit was $638 - crazy! I also asked for valium, since I am Very clausterphobic. Because I am a drug seeker, she refused to give me the 2 pills that would get me through the MRI. I didn't schedule anything.
Compassion would have been nice, caring, listening, understanding. Instead, I got condescension, an attitude, coldness, and looked down upon. It was such a fun time!
However, my day improved because my wonderful Mother, affectionately called Bobi (pronounced Buh Bee - Hebrew word for Grandmother) cancelled her Mah Jong game, came over, and spent the day with me. I know, I am 42 and I needed my Mom. But sometimes you still do. Mr. Vanilla called to check in on me during the day - I had called him blubbering between Nasty Girl leaving and the doctor coming in - and make sure I was okay, and the 2 Vanilla girls gave me hugs to help.
Okay, that is enough for my first try. And, even if nobody but the 14 year old Vanilla girl and her friend read my blog, I am still glad I am doing this. It will be good for me. Until the next one, I Love My Vanilla Life!
So, my family finally convinced me to go to a new practice for chronic pain (lots of back issues). Front desk staff nice, person who brought me to the room nice, then in walks the Nurse Practitioner. She will talk to me, and then I get to see the doctor. We seem to start out fine, even though when she wants to know where my pain is, and I tell her the diagram is the new patient paperwork, she flips one page and tells me she doesn't have it. What? So I point out my pain areas on a diagram. She'll ask me again in a few minutes. Now, when talking about my pain issues, I do bring up my medication frequently, but it is a big part of what I do to control the pain. We are about 2 or 3 minutes into the discussion, she asks a question, I start off talking about the medication, and she interrupts me and tells me we have talked enough about the medication, and we are continuing on. Not in a nice way either. I just stared at her, and this is where I lost it. I let her know that I felt she was rude, and her attitude was not nice, and she told me I was beligerent, and she can't help me unless my attitude gets better so we can work together. No apology, and no compassion at all. At this point I am crying....good thing I had my own tissue, because she didn't offer any.
She finally left, and the doctor seemed nice, but I was already done with the practice. When I went to check out, I was going to let them schedule the MRIs since I needed them, but when I asked why only neck and thoracic were ordered, and not lumbar, little miss NP told me when I came back we would talk about the lumbar MRI. Hmmm, if I come back, and they send me out for another MRI, and then I have to come back again, they get 2 more office visits to charge for! This one visit was $638 - crazy! I also asked for valium, since I am Very clausterphobic. Because I am a drug seeker, she refused to give me the 2 pills that would get me through the MRI. I didn't schedule anything.
Compassion would have been nice, caring, listening, understanding. Instead, I got condescension, an attitude, coldness, and looked down upon. It was such a fun time!
However, my day improved because my wonderful Mother, affectionately called Bobi (pronounced Buh Bee - Hebrew word for Grandmother) cancelled her Mah Jong game, came over, and spent the day with me. I know, I am 42 and I needed my Mom. But sometimes you still do. Mr. Vanilla called to check in on me during the day - I had called him blubbering between Nasty Girl leaving and the doctor coming in - and make sure I was okay, and the 2 Vanilla girls gave me hugs to help.
Okay, that is enough for my first try. And, even if nobody but the 14 year old Vanilla girl and her friend read my blog, I am still glad I am doing this. It will be good for me. Until the next one, I Love My Vanilla Life!
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